I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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