you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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