More tranny stories later!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
