So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
