I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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