Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
