I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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