everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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