Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
