M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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