I hate all girls vehemently.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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