ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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