I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
