So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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