Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
