please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
