Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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