I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
