well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
