I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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