Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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