similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize