garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
