We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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