they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
