Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
