Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have post one night stand depression
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