Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
