i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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