My nipple is on Facebook.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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