Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You've changed since you got that strap on
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
