CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
