I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
