My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
