Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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