Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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