I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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