Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
