yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
