you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
