We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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