windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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