Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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