I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
