:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize