I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
