Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can't turn off my feet"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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