my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
