and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
