"it" just moved
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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