Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
