I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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