On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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