I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
