you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
