Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
