I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
