The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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