butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
