She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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