Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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