woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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