Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
