is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
