I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
