you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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