Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
