While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize