Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
