when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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