I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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