I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
