So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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