Screwed.edu
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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