She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
