you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize