people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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